Before you begin

Abuse rarely looks the way we expect it to. It is not always physical. It is often gradual — so gradual that it is hard to know where it began. Many people who experience abuse spend a long time wondering whether what is happening to them “counts.”

It counts. If something in your relationship makes you feel afraid, controlled, belittled, or unsafe — that matters. You do not need to have bruises. You do not need to have been threatened. You do not need to have called the police.

Go through each section and answer honestly. There are no right or wrong answers. When you’re ready, your responses will help you see any patterns more clearly.