Plan, Exit, Stabilise: A Practical Guide for Survivors

Leaving an abusive relationship is rarely a single moment, and almost never a straight line. Many people plan to go long before they actually do — a bag packed, a date set, a statement written — only for fear to pull them back. If that’s you, please know it isn’t failure. Trauma bonds are powerful and real, and a delayed departure is part of how leaving so often works.

This guide is built to meet that reality. Instead of one overwhelming leap, it breaks the process into small, manageable steps you can take when, and only when, it’s safe to do so. It covers quietly securing your phone and accounts, gathering evidence, preparing go-bags, the exit day itself, the crucial first 72 hours, and hardening your safety and privacy in the weeks that follow.

It also includes the high-risk warning signs that mean you should seek specialist help as a priority, simple code words for staying in touch with trusted people, and a clear list of UK support contacts.

Throughout, your safety comes first. Only complete the steps that are safe for you, and trust your instincts. You don’t have to do everything perfectly — if today isn’t the day, secure one small win, and add another tomorrow. The full guide is below as a Word document you can download, save, and return to whenever you need it.

If you are in immediate danger: call 999. If you can’t speak safely, dial 999 then press 55 to alert police. The 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) is 0808 2000 247.

This survivor-led resource is provided by NAAVoices.com for advocacy and information. It is not legal advice or a substitute for emergency safeguarding responses. Always check current details with your local domestic abuse service or an independent adviser.