Understanding Dissociation Through Lived Experience, Neuroscience, and Survivor-Led Advocacy 💙

⚠️ Content Note: This post discusses trauma and dissociation. Please prioritise your wellbeing whilst reading. Take breaks as needed.

Quick Self-Check Before We Begin ❓

Do You Experience Dissociation? Quick Assessment:

  • □ Feel like you’re watching yourself from outside your body
  • □ The world seems unreal or dreamlike
  • □ Can’t remember parts of your day
  • □ Feel emotionally numb during stressful situations
  • □ Hear people talking but can’t process the words
  • □ Feel disconnected from your emotions
  • □ Time seems to speed up or slow down unusually
  • □ Feel like you’re on autopilot

If you tick 3+, consider speaking with a trauma-informed professional 💜


Earlier this year, I was sitting in the middle of my clinic. A patient I’d been supporting for months used a word that stopped me cold: dissociation. They described the sensation of watching life unfold around them without truly being part of it. As they spoke, something shifted in my understanding of my own PTSD journey.

For months, I’d struggled to name that automatic shutdown, the moment when the world becomes too much. It isn’t dramatic or visible. One moment I’m present and engaged. Next, I’m observing my own life from a distance, as though it’s happening behind frosted glass. My body continues the motions, but I am not there.

In those moments, silence becomes essential. Music, once comforting, becomes unbearable. After nights of relentless triggers and flashbacks that loop like a broken record, my mind craves quiet. It’s exhausted by constant vigilance and the fear of what might come next.


The tangled complexities of ongoing abuse leave no room for recovery. My nervous system remains trapped in survival mode. It cannot process trauma, and it cannot meet the demands of a mind now burdened with PTSD. Eventually, it simply says: “Enough. I’m taking you somewhere else for a while.”

I understand now, this was never a weakness. It wasn’t me, “not coping well enough.” It was my brain’s extraordinary attempt to protect me from pain that threatened to overwhelm every defence I had.

But understanding doesn’t make it easier to live with.


💙 Remember, you’re learning about your brain’s protective mechanisms. This is self-compassion, not self-criticism.

Structured trauma care helps. Programmes such as Finding Solid Ground have been shown to reduce symptoms and improve emotional regulation. (Oxford University Press)

The majority of trauma survivors experience dissociative symptoms. This is particularly common in PTSD and prolonged abuse cases. (NHS England)

Dissociation is a survival response. Brain imaging research confirms it is an adaptive mechanism, not a flaw. (Study by Reinders et al., University of Groningen)


👩‍⚕️ Through a Nurse’s Eyes: Reflection and Recognition

Through my postgraduate study, and as a nurse, I was trained to recognise dissociation. But it was my patients — and my own survival — that taught me what it truly looks like.

There’s a particular quality to it. A subtle disconnection. It isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet.

It’s the patient who seems unusually calm whilst describing horrific experiences. The assault survivor who recounts their story as though they’re reading someone else’s diary. The domestic abuse victim who appears “checked out” during safety planning.


An illustration featuring two young women, one seemingly floating above the other in a serene, blue-toned background. Accompanying text discusses the emotional disconnection experienced by trauma survivors, emphasizing the feeling of being outside one's body.

People often say, “I don’t know how you’re still standing.” Truthfully? Neither do I.

For over two years, 90% of my life was spent surviving. I wasn’t living — I was bracing. Managing the impact on my health, my wellbeing, and my children. I’ve never shared the full story of what I endured since leaving. Even the fragments I’ve had to disclose have brought others to tears. But I no longer could cry.

And that’s dissociation. Because without it, I don’t believe I’d still be here.

The Power of Quiet Support: My Workplace and PTSD

An Extraordinary Workplace

My workplace has been nothing short of extraordinary. They understood that dissociation isn’t a choice. If anything, it made me more focused on my patients — because I couldn’t stay in my own mind. I needed to protect others from feeling the same pain I was carrying.

“I never had to quote the Equality Act. The few who knew supported me quietly, respectfully.”

Small Acts, Big Impact

My manager would take me for walks. Colleagues shielded me from triggers. They reminded me daily, through their actions, that the pain I was carrying wasn’t mine to own alone. I set up a music speaker on the wall. It was something to fill the silence when I needed it. I could mute it when I didn’t need it.

They sat with me during phone calls I could barely comprehend. They listened in disbelief as the system, supposedly designed to protect, gave a platform for further harm. They read the statements. They saw the contradictions. They witnessed the emotional toll of being forced to relive what I was trying so desperately to escape.

They called. They messaged. They left food. One even offered financial help. I declined, but the gesture stayed with me long after.

Chosen Family

These people became family. They didn’t demand explanations or force me to speak. They let me dissociate to survive and protected the part of me that couldn’t be taken. They stood back and stayed quiet. They let me do what I do best — give others the safety I couldn’t always find for myself.

“They stood back, quietly, and let me give others what I couldn’t access for myself: safety.”

Please know this: you are protected.

PTSD is recognised as a disability under UK law. You have the right to reasonable adjustments. You don’t need to justify your survival, and you don’t need to explain your coping mechanisms.

You just need to know, you are not alone.

If You Don’t Have a Workplace Like Mine…

Daily Living Strategies That Help 🏠


Final Thoughts: From Survival to Living 🌅

Dissociation saved many of our lives. 💙 It allowed us to endure the unendurable, to survive experiences that might have otherwise destroyed us. But there comes a point where what once protected us begins to limit us. The challenge is learning to honour that protection whilst gently expanding our capacity to stay present. 🌸

For me, truly understanding dissociation — not just intellectually, but in my bones — has been transformative. 🦋 I no longer fight against it with shame and frustration. Instead, I recognise it as my brain’s misguided attempt at care. I thank it for keeping me alive, and then I gently remind myself: the danger has passed. I am safe now. I can stay. 🏡

Some days I can. Some days I can’t. And that’s okay. 💚

To my fellow survivors: Your dissociation tells a story of survival. It reflects a nervous system that loved you enough to take you somewhere else when reality became unbearable. That’s not weakness. That’s not pathology. That’s the fierce protection of a brain that refused to let trauma win.

To the professionals: When you see dissociation, you’re witnessing resilience in action. Treat it with the respect it deserves.

And to everyone else: Be gentle with those of us who sometimes seem far away. We’re not choosing to leave. We’re still learning how to stay.

This was never a choice. But healing — that’s a choice we make every single day..


Daily Living Strategies – Support Directory
🏡

Daily Living Strategies That Help

You are not alone. The organisations below offer free, confidential support — whenever you need it, day or night.

💜

If you are in immediate danger, please call 999. If you are struggling right now, Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week — you don’t have to be in crisis to reach out.

Crisis Support

🆘
Samaritans Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Crisis Text Line Text-based support
NHS Crisis Team Mental health emergency support
Via 111
Emergency Services Immediate danger
999

Specialist Trauma Support

💜
Rape Crisis England & Wales
Women’s Aid
Refuge DV Helpline
Mankind Initiative Support for male victims
Galop LGBT+ abuse support
NAPAC Childhood abuse survivors
Combat Stress Veterans’ mental health

Mental Health Organisations

🌿
Rethink Mental Illness
Hub of Hope Search for local services by postcode

Online Resources

🌐
PTSD UK Information, support & community
The Survivors Trust Rape & sexual abuse support
PODS Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors
ISSTD International Society for the Study of Trauma & Dissociation

Therapy Directories

🌼
BACP British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
UKCP UK Council for Psychotherapy
EMDR Association UK Find a qualified EMDR therapist

Children & Young People

🌸
The Mix Support for under 25s
Young Minds UK Young people’s mental wellbeing
Childline Free, confidential support for children

#PTSD #Dissociation #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #NursingPerspective #SurvivorStories #Neuroscience #TraumaInformed #HealingJourney #MentalHealthMatters #PTSDAwareness #DomesticAbuseAwareness #ComplexPTSD #TraumaSurvivor #MentalHealthUK #NHSMentalHealth #DisabilityRights #WorkplaceWellbeing #GroundingTechn

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NAAVoices.com — From Survival to Voice

The Journey Behind
NAAVoices

Registered Nurse · Survivor · Neurodivergent · Founder of NAAVoices.com

If you met me at work, you'd see a primary care nurse getting on with the job.

You'd see the clinic lists, the assessments, the routine pressures of general practice. You might notice that I take safeguarding seriously, that I ask different questions, that I pay attention when something “doesn't quite fit”. What you probably wouldn't see is the path that brought me here — or why I rebuilt my entire life and this website from scratch.

This is that story.

The Question That Sent Me Back to University

I had already earned my BSc (Hons) in Nursing and completed multiple master's modules, as well as gained advanced diplomas in areas of general practice. Alongside this, I bring years of primary care experience, a foundation in acute medicine, and several years of experience working in mental health and child and adolescent services. Yet, despite this breadth of knowledge and dedication, my world came crashing down.

After years of coercive control and abuse, I finally left. What followed was worse than I ever imagined: the abuse continued through services supposedly there to protect, and then the family court, professionals looked the other way, and systems I trusted were used as weapons.

I found myself asking a question I couldn't let go of:

How can a human being choose to inflict such pain and suffering on those around them? How do they remain unchanged, unmoved by the harm they cause? How can deceit come so easily, as though truth were meaningless? How can they live without conscience, acting with cruelty yet finding rest at night?

It wasn't an abstract interest in psychology. I needed to understand psychopaths, coercive control, and deliberate cruelty because I was living with the aftermath of it. I wanted to know what kind of mind can inflict that level of damage and still perform “normality” for professionals.

That question sent me back to university.

I self-funded a Postgraduate Certificate in Neuroscience & Psychology of Mental Health. I did it quietly, alongside my job in primary care. Very few colleagues knew I was studying. This wasn't about promotion or a title. It was about survival and understanding.

No amount of academic theory will ever make intentional cruelty “make sense” in human terms.

But the course did something important. It gave me language, evidence, and a framework for what I had lived through. I learned about trauma, attachment, adverse childhood experiences, personality structure, chronic stress, and how the brain adapts to survive.

I am qualified in mental health, but my day-to-day employed role remains in primary care, with different clinical priorities. The mental-health training sits behind the scenes: it informs how I think, how I listen, and how I build this work, but I am not employed as a specialist mental-health clinician. That distinction matters.

Building on the framework provided by the PGCert in Neuroscience and Psychology of Mental Health, my journey shifted from solely personal survival to a commitment to serve others who are where I once was.

This led to further specialised training, including becoming a Certified Trauma Healing Practitioner, a Certified Narcissist Recovery Practitioner, and a Certified Neurodiversity Coach through CMA- and IPHM-accredited providers.

These qualifications are not mere credentials; they represent my dedication to transforming lived experience and academic knowledge into structured, ethical, and evidence-informed tools that I can share, ensuring this work extends beyond personal narrative to provide tangible, practical support.

ADHD, Masking, and the Shape of “Resilience”

At 34, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD — something I had suspected for years but never prioritised because I was too busy coping. Suddenly, a lot made sense:

  • My ability to hyperfocus through chaos
  • My drive to fix complex problems that aren't technically “mine”
  • My tendency to keep going long after most people would stop — until I crashed

ADHD had quietly shaped my career success and my personal vulnerability. It helped me advocate, absorb information quickly, and think laterally about systems. It also meant I masked distress and over-functioned for far too long, calling it resilience while my nervous system was burning out.

The combination of primary care nursing, postgraduate mental-health training, ADHD, and lived experience of abuse and institutional failure created a particular kind of clarity:

  • I could see the patterns
  • I could name the dynamics
  • I could track how systems were failing — not just for me, but for my children as well

The Day the Music Told the Truth

There was a point where the clinical knowledge, the qualifications, and the “I'm fine” facade all fell apart.

One night, I sat in a chair, listening to “I Am Not OK” on repeat for an hour.

I wasn't writing. I wasn't coping. I was rocking, dissociating, and trying to keep my brain from breaking under the weight of what had happened — and what was still happening through the courts and institutional responses.

Two months later, in September 2024, I was diagnosed with PTSD.

The label didn't shock me. It simply caught up with reality. Hypervigilance, flashbacks, sensory overload, the constant scanning for threat — all of it was textbook trauma layered on top of chronic stress and unresolved safeguarding failures.

At that point, writing stopped being a hobby and became something else entirely:

It wasn't writing — it was survival.

When Your Children Show You the Cost

Some memories don't fade, no matter how much time passes.

Their fear was a mirror. It reflected my own internal state — the same dread, the same hyperawareness, the same sense that danger could reappear at any moment.

These weren't “incidents”; they were symptoms of living in prolonged fear and then being failed by the very systems meant to protect us.

Those moments changed the trajectory of my life. They turned advocacy from something I did around my job into something that sits at the centre of who I am.

The Courtroom Where My Voice Didn't Count

Leaving an abuser should mark the beginning of safety.

Instead, I watched the family court become another arena for control.

I was left with a clear message:

You can be a nurse, a mother, or a credible witness. Yet, you may still be silenced when it threatens the bad reputation.

That level of institutional betrayal changes you.

The Moment Nurse Against Abuse Was Born

The night after court, I wasn't okay. I was struggling to hold it together.

My daughter was upset because she wasn't “the best” at something. I'd explained to her that everyone has different things they're good at, and she looked at me and said:

“You are the best at looking after people.”

When the systems around us wouldn't protect us, that sentence became my guide. If I couldn't make them listen to me, I could at least create a space. There, others would never feel that level of erasure. They would not be without a map in their hands.

During a period of severe mental decline, triggered by further police leaks and ongoing court proceedings, I realised something uncomfortable but undeniable:

If I kept trying to be heard in spaces designed not to listen, I was going to break.

So I did the only thing that made sense to my ADHD brain, my nurse brain, and my traumatised brain all at once:

I built something new.

Nurse Against Abuse did not start as a brand. It started as a survival mechanism.

From Troubled Minds to Empowered Voices

“From Troubled Minds to Empowered Voices” was never intended as a branding effort. It grew out of my own journey. Traumatised and feeling voiceless, unable to find the words I so desperately needed.

Traditional trauma therapies don't always fit everyone living with PTSD; for me, speaking was impossible.

Out of that silence, I developed a technique. It first became a journal for myself. Then, it became a tool for others who also struggled to speak but longed for help.

It began as a personal survival tool. Now, it has evolved into the From Troubled Minds to Empowered Voices Collection.

  • From being overwhelmed and unheard to finally understanding what was happening inside my own brain
  • From surviving day-to-day to building something that might make the path easier for someone else
  • From having no voice to ensuring others never feel their lives matter so little to those who were meant to protect them

I love primary care, my patients and my work family. Though it is a workplace, it has always been the place I turn to when I am struggling. There, I could just be myself. Not a victim, not only a parent of traumatised children, but someone who can give others the care they deserve. My therapy is being able to serve others. It is where I was myself and where I can still be myself.

  • Work became my sanctuary when my home was no longer safe
  • My mental health qualification provides the theoretical foundation for what I share here
  • My lived experience ensures none of this drifts into abstract theory

Together, they underpin everything you see on this site: the blogs, the survivor tools, the professional resources, and the insistence that people deserve to be heard, believed, and properly safeguarded.

Why This Story Is Here

This page exists for one reason: context.

When you read my blogs about West Mercia Police, family court, coercive control, ADHD, PTSD, or child safeguarding, I want you to know the perspective they are written from:

  • A professional with lived experience and the qualifications and knowledge to support
  • A mother whose children have lived through domestic abuse and systemic failure
  • A survivor who has seen what happens when institutions protect themselves instead of the vulnerable

I am not neutral.

I am informed.

And I am still here.

If you are reading this because you are trying to make sense of your own situation — whether as a survivor, a parent, a professional, or all three at once — you need to hear this clearly:

You are not overreacting.

You are not weak.

You are not the problem.

And you no longer have to walk through this without language, without tools, or without a voice.

📚 Publications
Not Broken

Not Broken: Finding the Stars

📦 Amazon UK
From Troubled Minds

From Troubled Minds to Empowered Voices

📦 Amazon UK
Gabby’s Guide

Gabby's Guide to Brainstorming Fun

📦 Amazon UK
Gabby’s Guide

Gabby's Guide — Collection

📦 Amazon UK
No Further Action

No Further Action —

⌛ Coming soon

A note on identity

NAAVoices was originally founded under a pseudonym to protect my identity. With time and healing I have come to realise that reducing stigma does not come from staying hidden — it comes from openness. Domestic abuse, mental health difficulties, and the need for advocacy happen to people from every walk of life. I am Amy Royle, and speaking openly is part of normalising these conversations so that others feel safe to do the same.

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