NAAVoices was not created from certainty, but from lived experience and professional insight. As I migrate earlier work from the original platform, this post has been reviewed and approved for transfer. It remains true to its original context, with only minor clarity edits where needed. Some moments do not require rewriting to remain honest.

On Trust, Sanctuary, and Quiet Protection

I believe in recognising the goodness in others. Not as a default assumption, but as a deliberate choice. To allow space for kindness, even when circumstances make trust difficult.

Today has tested that belief.

Today was a hard day.

I struggled to get out of bed. I slept far later than I should have. I feel profoundly alone. I noticed a message from a friend late last night and chose not to open it. Lately, I have been stepping back from messages altogether. Not out of indifference, but capacity. When trauma is active, even connection can feel overwhelming.

Writing is what I can manage today. This space allows me to put words to things I cannot say out loud. NAAVoices exists for the same reason: to hold clarity, boundaries, and voice when everything else feels unstable.

Trauma erodes control in ways that are not always visible. You can appear functional while expending enormous energy just to remain steady.

Despite that, I got up. The children need stability. They have already seen too much. I cry behind sunglasses, even when there is no sun, so they do not have to see it again. They sit in the back of the car believing it is for the youngest, but in truth it is protection. Shielding has become instinctive.

I contacted my GP today to expedite my CMHT referral. I can recognise the trajectory. Insight does not prevent deterioration, but it allows for intervention. The control I am under has not disappeared, and I am realistic about that. What I can do is reduce its reach and protect what remains intact.

Today, I took the children to buy a hot tub and a trampoline. The hot tub failed. The trampoline is purchased and waiting to be built. Small things, but tangible ones. Evidence that life is still moving, even when it feels fragile.

There is no strength in ignoring limits. There is strength in acknowledging when support is needed.

Although much of my writing reflects distress, it is not the whole picture. Even today, there are people who show up with integrity and care, often quietly and without expectation.

A message from Faith this evening reminded me of something important: trust is built through behaviour, not assumption. Context matters. Boundaries matter. Consistency matters.

At work, I am careful about disclosure. I want to remain focused on my role and avoid becoming a point of discussion. Only a very small number of people are aware of what I am dealing with, and that is intentional.

During a period of acute distress today, I approached Faith. I shared only what was necessary. What followed was not curiosity or intervention, but steadiness. Discretion. Quiet presence.

The stress has been physical as well as emotional. Chest pain. Palpitations. Dizziness. Moments where I need practical support without explanation or attention. That support has been given calmly and without intrusion.

Earlier today, after learning my ex-partner had been arrested, I found myself unable to go home. I drove and ended up at work. It has become a place of structure and safety. A place where I can continue to function and contribute, even when everything else feels uncertain.

Sanctuary does not always look like rest. Sometimes it looks like purpose.

When I disclosed what had happened to a very small number of colleagues today, it was met with care and respect. Confidentiality has been maintained without question. Boundaries have been understood and upheld.

That protection matters.

I have not known Faith long, which makes this moment clearer, not more complicated. Today is the day I realised that trust does not require history. It requires ethical behaviour, discretion, and respect for what is not yours to disclose.

People are rarely only what is immediately visible. A patient once thanked a receptionist for helping secure an appointment. What they saw was efficiency. What they could not see was the depth of care behind it.

Today, I have learned that trust can arrive fully formed, even with someone you barely know, when your safety is treated as non-negotiable.