Content Warning: This post discusses domestic abuse, child safeguarding concerns, police misconduct, trauma responses, and emotional distress. Please take care while reading and step away if needed. Support resources are listed on our Help & Guidance page.
NAAVoices was not created from certainty, but from lived experience and professional insight. As I migrate earlier work from the original platform, this post has been reviewed and approved for transfer. It remains true to its original context, with only minor clarity edits where needed. Some moments do not require rewriting to remain honest.
The Disclosure That Changed Everything
A year ago today, I revealed four years of domestic abuse. It was almost to the hour. I shared this information with a West Mercia police officer.
I also disclosed child abuse, common assault, drug distribution, fraud, and harassment.
He did not do his job. He failed to protect my children and me. Instead, he chose to use his uniform to impose his own biased views about fathers’ rights. He did so without any regard for the risk he was creating for me, my children, or anyone else involved.
A System That Failed Us Twice
Today, I received an updated report from the court based on an open police disclosure. Once again, the officer’s actions have placed my children at risk.
There is so much more I could write about the months it took to expose what he had done. I could also write about what he continued to do. However, what’s becoming painfully clear is this: he is a very dangerous man. He is in a position meant to protect vulnerable people, and he has caused immense damage.
I was at work when I read the report. The police appear to have provided only one NFA relating to a non‑molestation breach. They have also failed to document that my children disclosed abuse exactly one year ago today.
No surprise there.
He acted with malice. He failed to record crimes. He attempted to intimidate my nursery manager. He ignored everything I reported. Now, I am facing even more consequences.
The Weight of His Actions
The trauma I live with because of his actions is profound.
Tonight was the final lecture of the first year of my master’s module. I’ve been doing incredibly well in it. However, I couldn’t cope. It’s one thing to have my life controlled by my ex. It’s another thing to have it controlled by someone who was supposed to protect us.
I had to drive. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Tonight, I drove back to the same layby where I ended up when the Sergeant was arrested. It was the place I used to drive to when I no longer felt safe in my own home. Back then, I would drive day and night aimlessly because it was the only place I felt I could breathe.
Tonight felt the same, except this time I didn’t feel safe mentally or emotionally.
The Stars, and the Question That Won’t Leave Me
I stood next to the gate and felt the wind on my face. The stars were out. I used to look up and believe that John and my grandad were somewhere up there. I’m not religious, but I’ve always believed that the people you’ve loved and lost are somehow watching over you.
There were some huge stars tonight. Maybe they’re a reminder that I have to keep fighting. I don’t know if they realise how much I’m carrying or how close I am to breaking.
What gave a police officer the right to cause so much damage?
Why does he get to push my life into such despair that I no longer feel safe
