Part of the countdown to Domestic Abuse Awareness Month

Day 5 focuses on the science behind survival, the part I know both professionally and personally.

Trauma isn’t just emotional; it’s neurological. The body keeps the score long after the danger ends.

As a nurse, I understand the physiology of trauma. I can explain how the amygdala, our brain’s alarm system becomes hypervigilant after prolonged threat exposure.

I know that the nervous system gets stuck in survival mode, unable to distinguish between past danger and present safety.

I’ve seen it in patients: the racing heart rate, the elevated cortisol, the way their bodies react before their minds can even process what’s happening.

I could teach this. I do teach this to those who are struggling to understand the cause of their health when there are no other answers.

But knowing it academically doesn’t prepare you for living it.

The Personal Reality

Even after I left, my body reacted like I was still in danger.

Loud noises. Unexpected messages. Footsteps behind me. Instant panic.

My colleagues saw the shift in me. The hair falling out. The ECG shows irregular rhythms that shouldn’t have been there. The physical manifestation of a nervous system that couldn’t stand down.

It took time, research, studying, and therapy for me to understand what was happening: my nervous system was stuck in survival mode.

My body was still fighting a battle I’d already escaped.

I know the amygdala doesn’t forget a threat easily. It needs retraining through safety, breathwork, and connection.

As a survivor, I learned that healing isn’t intellectual, it’s embodied.

You can’t talk yourself out of hypervigilance; you have to teach your body it’s safe again.

That’s the part they don’t put in the textbooks.

You can understand every neural pathway, every stress hormone, every trauma response, and your body will still betray you with a panic attack in the shop because someone walked up behind you too quickly.

The shift happens when you stop fighting your nervous system and start working with it.

The Power of Self-Regulation

That’s where self-regulation becomes power.

Every time you ground yourself, feeling your feet on the floor, naming five things you can see, focusing on your breath, you’re not just “calming down.” You’re literally rewiring your brain toward peace.

Every time you breathe properly, with that long exhale that activates your vagus nerve, you’re telling your nervous system: “We’re safe now. You can stand down.”

Every time you stay present instead of dissociating, you’re building new neural pathways. Ones that lead to safety instead of survival.

It’s not quick. It’s not easy. But it’s real.

The body keeps the score, yes. But the body can also learn a new story.

Mine is still learning.

Some days are better than others.

Some triggers still catch me off guard.

But I’m no longer at war with my own nervous system.

I understand it now. I work with it. And slowly, so slowly, it’s learning to trust that the danger has passed.

That’s the science behind survival. And that’s the hope in healing.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse:

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (24/7)
• C.A.L.L. Helpline (Wales): 0800 132 737
• Men’s Advice Line: 0808 8010 327

You deserve safety. You deserve peace. You deserve to teach your body that it’s finally safe to heal.