Today, my youngest and I ventured into Telford shopping centre for a bit of shopping. As we made our way to the car park pay station near Primark, we encountered a gentleman sitting on the floor, drawing with a tin out for donations.
I rarely carry cash — only my card — but seeing him there, I immediately checked. My little one asked about his drawings. Children have a unique way of seeing the world, and my son sees no harm in others.
Over the past year, I’ve realised that despite what others may project about who I am, he has been shielded from the true events and the behaviours of others. He has always been my priority, and I have protected him from the harsh reality that not everyone is kind, considerate of others’ wellbeing, or capable of causing harm.
This year has truly highlighted how hard life can be, and what I would have given to change even one aspect of what was happening. Life can take unexpected turns, making it difficult for some to find a way out of their circumstances.
We met ‘Sketch,’ who shared a bit of his story with us. He had been through a lot, especially during COVID when he ended up in intensive care. His life took a downward turn from there. He had even written his experiences in a book but felt his handwriting wasn’t good enough to share.
That hit close to home. When I wrote over 40,000 words about the abuse I had endured, no one listened or cared. A police officer told me I didn’t even need to provide a statement. Journaling became the thing that helped me find closure and process what had happened. Sitting there with Sketch, I realised how many of us feel that our lives and experiences simply don’t matter to others.
It’s something I’ve made it a point to change — at work and in my daily life. I let people know that they do matter, that their stories matter. That need to affirm others perhaps stems from my intense desire to protect my children and fight for them, despite my ex manipulating others the way he had manipulated me for years.
Listening to people’s stories is vital, because so many endure hardships in silence.
It’s not realistic to help every person you come across, especially financially, but I felt for him. He had commented on his handwriting, and I knew that converting it into text was something I could do without much effort — something that might actually help him. I offered to do it if he ever decided to share his story and gave him my website email address.
Sketch shared his journey of finding solace in drawing, a heartfelt way he copes with his challenges. As my little one carefully looked through Sketch’s pictures, he eagerly searched his bag for a drawing he wanted to share with him.
I felt compelled to ask Sketch if I could write about him in my blog, highlighting the importance of instilling kindness and empathy in my children. To my joy, he agreed to a photo.
Initially, he appeared a bit reserved, but by the time we left, a warm smile lit up his face. It was a beautiful reminder of the connection we can create through understanding and compassion.
On the way back to the car, my son said something that melted my heart: “Mummy, I have a big heart, like you.” This brought tears to my eyes, especially after a teacher recently told me he was like his older brothers. I was incredibly proud to hear that.
Before the youngest’s dad came into my life, my older boys were amazing kids who saw no harm in others and cared unconditionally about the people around them. Ten years ago, my middle son, at the same age my little one is now, had asked to buy water for a homeless man we encountered on the street. Sadly, they have since witnessed and experienced the harm that others can cause, and that is something I will never forgive myself for.
Just a year ago, my little one was struggling with his emotions while living in an environment I wouldn’t wish on anyone. He rarely showed me much empathy. One of his ‘long’ memories with his dad is of him shouting at me because he wanted to play with his toys in the room I was cleaning. For a three-year-old to have that as a ‘happy long’ memory speaks volumes about the kind of behaviour he saw as acceptable. But today, he demonstrated profound empathy and understanding, showing how far he’s come.
Once back in the car, I rummaged through our belongings to find something for Sketch. I found an old jumper of my teenage son’s and my little one’s drawing pad. I turned around, and my little one eagerly grabbed a toy train to give as well.
As we returned to find Sketch, my son expressed his pride in being kind, suggesting we give him his pennies from his bag. It’s unsettling what he remembers — like how an act of kindness wasn’t the norm. He said, “Daddy has a bad heart. I don’t want to shout at you.” I reassured him that he indeed has a big heart, one capable of kindness and love.
When we found Sketch again, my son proudly showed him the elephant he had drawn in the sketch pad, declaring it was for him. He also playfully pointed out his “dirty hands” — a charming reminder that, at four years old, such things are just part of life. The train was a gift for Sketch to play with while he wasn’t drawing.
We chatted on our way back to the car, and just as we were leaving, Sketch ran after us with stickers he had found, eager to share them with my son. It was a little reminder that those who have so little often give what they can — not just in material possessions, but in time, energy, and effort, often to their own detriment.
In the car, my little one suggested we get Sketch a house and some dinner.
We returned after running our errands, only to find that he had left the car park.
Today, I felt a swell of pride for my young man, but also for myself. I’ve chosen not to let the actions of others deter my desire to help those in need. Life may throw challenges our way, but moments like these remind us of the power of kindness and the importance of teaching our children to care for others.
Since arriving home, my little one has put together a bag of things all on his own: popcorn, which he insisted on cooking himself, baby wipes for Sketch’s dirty hands after drawing, and snacks. But the most beautiful part is that he has drawn and cut out about a million hearts, colouring them in for Sketch.
It looks like we’ll be making another 60-mile round trip tomorrow. Because I want this boy to know that even if we can’t find Sketch in the same spot, the effort, care, and compassion he has shown at the age of four is beyond anything many others would or could show. And I am unbelievably proud of him.
Shout out to Sketch: Your resilience and creativity are truly inspiring. Despite all you’ve been through, you’ve shown that there is still room for kindness and generosity. It’s a powerful reminder for us all to care for one another and not judge others, because we never know where life might take us.
