Your identity is not up for debate. Yet for many in the LGBTQI+ community, having who you are questioned, dismissed, or invalidated is a daily reality. This isn’t just hurtful—the research shows it has profound, measurable impacts on mental health, physical health, and life trajectories.

As a healthcare professional and advocate, I’ve witnessed how validation can be lifesaving, and how invalidation can be devastating. Understanding why acceptance matters isn’t about politics or opinion—it’s about recognising a fundamental human need backed by decades of research.

The Mental Health Reality

The statistics tell a stark story. More than half of LGBTQI+ individuals have experienced depression, with three in five facing anxiety. Among young LGBTQI+ people aged 18-24, almost one in eight has attempted suicide. For transgender individuals, nearly half have contemplated taking their own lives (Stonewall, 2018).

Why Acceptance Is Lifesaving

The Family Acceptance Project’s research is unequivocal. LGBTQ+ young people who experience high levels of family rejection are more than eight times as likely to attempt suicide. 

This is in comparison to peers who experienced little or no rejection. They’re also nearly six times as likely to report high levels of depression and more than three times as likely to use illegal drugs (Ryan et al., 2009).

But here’s the hopeful part: acceptance actively promotes thriving. LGBTQ+ youth who feel accepted by their families show resilience comparable to their non-LGBTQ+ peers. They develop healthier relationships, better emotional regulation, and stronger identity formation (Ryan et al., 2010).

What matters most is the demonstrated effort to accept and support. This includes using correct names and pronouns. It also involves defending against discrimination, expressing love, and seeking to learn.

When Acceptance Comes Early, Everything Changes

A Personal Note on Acceptance

I’m acutely aware of how fortunate we are. My children, wider family, and many of my colleagues have formed a protective circle around my daughter. Some didn’t understand at first, and some still don’t. But enough people did – and that has made all the difference.

I will be forever grateful to Dr Felicity. 

She was the first person to use my daughter’s correct pronouns. She was the first to really listen. She helped me see that my daughter already knew who she was. I was confused and worried about what it all meant. Her age, the implications, and the risks concerned me. She made it clear that if I didn’t protect her, the impact could be profound. I needed to show her it was okay to be herself. I also needed to find support for her and her brothers. 

Over this past year, we’ve seen what happens when others don’t accept her. Her wellbeing deteriorated. She developed a stutter and had night terrors. She became withdrawn and sad.

By contrast, those who have loved her from the start are her fiercely protective teenage brothers and their peers. They have shown a level of maturity and acceptance. Many adults could learn from this. They have made living in her truth not just possible, but safer and easier.

The timing of acceptance profoundly affects life trajectories. LGBTQ+ young people who receive early support are more likely to:

• Complete their education and achieve their academic potential
• Develop healthy relationship patterns and attachment styles
• Build resilience that protects mental health across the lifespan
• Integrate their identity as one positive aspect of themselves

Those who experience rejection during formative years face compounding difficulties. These difficulties persist into adulthood. They affect education, employment, relationships, economic stability, and health for decades (Russell & Fish, 2016).

In my practice, I regularly see adults in their forties, fifties, or beyond. They are still carrying the psychological burden of rejection they experienced decades earlier. They’ve often achieved external success, but continue to struggle with shame, trust, and self-worth. Prevention through early acceptance is far more effective than attempting to heal decades of accumulated harm.

It’s Never Too Late

Early intervention has the most powerful protective effects. However, research shows that acceptance at any age improves mental health outcomes. It also enhances the quality of life. 

Adults who experience later-life acceptance from families who previously rejected them show significant improvements in wellbeing, even after years of rejection (Ryan et al., 2009)

What This Means

Identity validation isn’t a luxury or a political statement. It’s a fundamental human need with direct impacts on mental health and survival. The evidence is overwhelming: acceptance saves lives, changes trajectories, and prevents decades of harm.

If you’re struggling with identity invalidation, please know: your identity is valid. Your feelings are real. You deserve support, acceptance, and dignity. Reach out to LGBTQ+-affirming support services. Connect with community. Seek healthcare providers who will validate rather than question who you are.

If you’re in a position to offer acceptance, recognise the profound impact your validation can have. This is true whether you are a family member, friend, colleague, or healthcare provider. Sometimes acceptance saves lives.