Day 1

7 November 2023

Last night, I lay in bed writing everything down, the good, the bad, the ugly. I’ve used this technique before; it clears my mind in a way nothing else does. Sometimes I write the difficult things in one colour, then go back over the page in another colour for the positives. It’s strangely therapeutic.

I’d been sitting up for hours thinking. Eventually, I asked my partner if he wanted to talk things through with me, if I can even call him my partner.
Of course not. I should have learned years ago that if it isn’t about him, it isn’t relevant. Still, a part of me kept hoping something might change.

But tonight was different.

Tonight, I decided: no more ringing Samaritans because I’m falling apart from the life I’m being forced to live.
Tonight, I chose to do something productive — something for me.
Somewhere I can get everything off my chest. Somewhere I can notice the changes, even the small ones.

I can’t promise there won’t be sadness along the way, but I hope that by sharing my story, someone else might feel a little less alone.

Tomorrow, I’ll write a solid block of background. From there, I’ll blog each day. It doesn’t need to be all doom and gloom. I’m more than happy to talk about nursing, mum life, neurodiversity, and anything else that comes to mind.